Cocoa the Klepto

My nightstand is a glass-topped table, where the glass is not attached to the metal base. I woke up this morning at a quarter of five to:

BANG! BANG! BANG! ... BANG! BANG! BANG!

So I sit bolt-upright in bed. In my disorientated semi-sleep state, I'm thinking either the cats - Cassie now calls them my preschool class - are breaking into something or someone's breaking into the house.

I see these glowing green eyes from my left and I look over to see Cocoa avec une Guimauve on my nighstand, hovering over my covered rubber band. As I watch her, too surprised to say anything, she takes the rubber band into her mouth and jumps off the nightstand.

Do you remember that story a couple years ago about that cat that became a kleptomaniac after his owners had their first child? It would go through other people's yards, pick up their toys and stuff, then carry them back to the child's crib? Disgusting, I know, but that cat and Cocoa must share DNA.

Yesterday my pen somehow went missing. On Memorial Day, it was a bunch of little flag candies. Cassie says her cat Dixie gets up on her desk chair to play with pens and little knick-knacks on her desk in the morning, but never takes things, so she can't figure it out. Over Easter, Cocoa consumed a whole Peep on her own - and bounced off the walls for two days - while she hid the row of carefully detached Peep bunnies that were supposed to go on the buffet display, a chicken that gets wound up and clucks, walks, and lays gum "eggs", and one of my cousin's Barbies. We found the wind-up chicken and her clutch spread all through my bed (Coax even tried to chew on one of the eggs to the point that I had to pitch one of my pillowcases because I couldn't get the gum out) and something like all but one of the Peep bunnies, but that Barbie is still MIA. We've found its bunny-ear headband and both shoes, but, as to the rest of its ensemble and the Barbie itself, we've got no clue....

I have Buster, who thinks the party starts and ends with her, Locket, who's just a love and a dear, D'Artagnan, the kindest little sweetheart, and Godiva, the mother hen (no pun intended). Then there's the kleptomaniac, Cocoa.

Anyone else got a klepto as a cat? Anyone?

I AM DONE!!!!!

After the most grueling round of finals in my life, I am done!

I got home yesterday and all five cats seemed to know. D'Artagnan met me at the door and rolled over on his back as if to say, "I know you're done. Pet me!"

So I spent the better part of the evening on the couch with the window open (screen still closed, of course), with all five on me. It hasn't gotten terribly hot here yet and there was a breeze out so it was really nice. Every time the cats heard a bird, they lifted their heads and listened.

Anyway, just thought I'd share the news.

Also, purrs and purrayers for Dixie Hiccup. She's got a routine check-up this week. I'm putting a special clause in my purrayer that the vet convinces Cassie to put Dix on a D-I-E-T. The much-publicized "Princess Chunk" (later "Prince Chunk") has been getting a run for his money lately... She says Dixie is still growing and needs the extra nourishment. I asked her if a 55-year-old is still growing. She said no. I said Dixie really is 55. She said Dixie couldn't possibly be. I drug out my Encyclopedia of the Cat, perhaps the most useful and thoughtful gift from Cassie's brother John, and proved it. I swear she had the same look on her face as she did when she was eleven and John's friend told her the truth about Santa Claus. "You mean," she stuttered, "you mean Dixie Hiccup's no longer a kitten?"

Cassie always says that if her cat Dixie had thumbs, she'd rule the world. One day Cassie said that after she becomes a successful psychologist or anthropologist (it changes by the day), she'll get Dixie hand surgery so she can go off and rule the world. I said that Cocoa avec une Guimauve and Buster Theodora Baddie would go with her. They have that type of personality, too. Cocoa's a little Napoleon and Buster tries to rule the roost.

-L


Mark your calendars: Cat Philanthropy is hosting the Carnival of the Cats on 6/07!

News

Sorry for not posting in... good grief, it's been two weeks!

I guess I have a good excuse, though. My college class ends in two weeks and I had a final paper due and finals next week. Regular high school classes end the week after, so I apologize in advance if I don't post for a bit, as I've got finals, papers, and all that good stuff.

Anyway, lots has happened since Easter.

That Monday I got stupendous news: I am an Honors Scholar at my school, which means I am an all-Honors/AP student with a 95 or above in each class. I've been an Honors Scholar for four straight semesters now!

Wednesday brought equally good news. In early March I applied for a Detweiler Scholarship, which pays for a college class in the humanities over the summer. Detweilers are reserved for students who've been Honors Scholars for at least two consecutive semesters. My guidance counselor told me that I had been selected for a course!

It's funny how, for the briefest moment, you think everything's going right, then, crash, you fall flat.

That's kind of what happened to me. Literally.

Friday night, Cassie's brother John came over because it's no fun to watch the Bourne Ultimatum alone (Cassie refuses to watch). John's name is literally John Locke and he thinks it's funny that I named one of my cats that. It's nice when he's around because he can lug three 28-pound jugs of cat litter at once.

This might be a good time to mention that D'Artagnan has taken to following me around with his tail wrapped around my ankle.

Girl + stairs + tail of invisible cat = ?

That's right. A sprained ankle.

And so I'm laying there, sprawled at the bottom of the stairs, staring at the ceiling (this was before the pain actually kicked in) and I hear tripping and scuffling and "Move, Buster!" And D'Artagnan is licking me, crying aloud, which I didn't know he was capable of. He sounds like a squeaky recorder.

Then the other four cats descend on me, demanding noisily to know what all the commotion was about.
When I actually get around to sitting up, which John wouldn't let me do until I'd shown him I hadn't broken my neck, I looked down and saw this giant purple goose egg on the side of my ankle. I should have known that when it didn't hurt and all the rest of me did that it was going to be trouble...

In other news, a brown squirrel has taken up residence in the tree behind the house. He sits up on his hind legs and makes funny noises at Cocoa through the window. I think he thinks because she's so small she's a squirrel, too. Cassie named him Chipmonkey and Cocoa's started chittering at him. (Thank you so much for explaining chittering! I was so worried it would be something bad!)

Well, back to studying...

-L

Happy Easter from Cat Philanthropy!

It's the Feline Five's first Easter!

Every year, Cassie's family comes over and spends Easter with us. We do the classic Paas decorating traditions every Saturday night, but this year Cassie brought this kit that has little sponges in the shapes of bunnies and flowers, with glitter and sparkles and everything.

It will be very interesting to see how the Feline Five act towards the egg decorating and everything. We'll make eggs for all the cats and I've decided we'll do a little treat hunt around the living room, but holidays are still a source of bewilderment for them. Cocoa and Godiva were the only two to actually see the Christmas tree; they were perplexed.

Anyway, Easter came early when I saw the lovely badges the M-Cats Club did for Locket and D'Artagnan. Thank you so much!

I leave you with Cocoa avec une Guimauve playing with the infamous jelly bean. This is her fourth or fifth one. She will only play with the green ones and she'll only play with them on the stairs.

Happy Easter!

Wordy Wednesday 2009

Thank you so much, Zoolatry! This fits Cocoa avec une Guimauve perfectly!

Oh, and I almost forgot, Happy St. Patrick's Day to all the beans and furbabies! Éirinn go Brách! (Ireland Forever!)

-Lily

P.S. Any furbabies want to talk to Cassie for me about messing with my blog? (Just joking!)

Photoblog #2 - Crimes Against the Kitchen

First of all, I'd like to enter into evidence the following two photographs taken of Cocoa, known alias: Squiggles.

Exhibit A:

The image above is of Cocoa after coming out from a restricted access area (under the buffet). She has a cobweb on her ear.

Exhibit B:

This one is self-explanatory.

Exhibit C:

Statement from Lily Locke.

"I was making vanilla cupcakes and I left the kitchen for one minute. When I returned, a certain small black cat was sitting on the counter. She had dumped the mixing bowl on its side and her head was inside.

"I cleaned off her face, but I left this telltale peice of evidence [as seen above] for entrance into evidence."

Cocoa is hereby formally tried and found guilty in crimes against the kitchen. She is sentenced to three treats and six hugs.

Photoblog #1 - Cocoa at Play

Okay, so these were just a couple pictures I managed to take of Cocoa this afternoon, playing with her ball and squeaker mouse. She loves to be photographed, which is funny, because Buster, D'Ar, and Locket really aren't that crazy about it.

She's the smallest of the Feline Five. Here, she looks much bigger than she is. She's still a "squiggly" kitten!

This is her ball, her second-favorite toy behind her squeaker mouse. I think she throws it down the stairs just because she knows I'll pick it up and bring it back to her!

Here's her squeaker mouse. She likes to carry it around by its tail and show it off to everyone. Cocoa can't sleep at night unless she's got her squeaker mouse beside her!

Such a sweetie!

Check back tomorrow for some more photos of the Feline Five!

Buster, Locket, Cocoa, Godiva, and D'Artagnan send a hug and a kiss, a warm ruby wish, and catnip-covered dreams to all the kitties out there!